I’ve been a single parent since I’ve been a parent. Let me tell you guys it has been a very tough road. I was finishing my first year of college 1000 miles away from my parents. I was in the prime of my party days going to school at ASU to fly planes, with the whole future ahead of me. I decided around this time that I’d join the Marines…I was in prime-time rapid decision making mode with life changing choices it would seem.
I was with a woman that I didn’t love so much as I loved being around. We were more in “lust” with each other, than love really…so naturally being uncautious, unprotected, and unaware…we got pregnant. Yikes.
It was my choice to keep the baby. I felt wrong about having it, wrong about killing it, and wrong about letting somebody else raise it. Ultimately though I felt that if I was responsible enough to make a human life, then I was damn sure responsible enough to take care of it and raise it. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I ran away from my kid, or chose to kill it because I just “wasn’t ready.”
I’m not pro-life, nor am I pro-choice. I’m pro-taking-care-of-your-responsibilities. I stand for owning up to your mistakes, and handling your business. So this is what I did. My son is now 13 years old and we are the tightest of compadres. His mother and I split almost as soon as he was born and have been apart the entire time. Let me be the first to tell you that being a single parent is a rocky road up a steep cliff for years on end.
Child support has made my life extremely hard to weather at times. Not only does the Government take out 1/4 of your check for taxes every week, but they take another 1/4 for child support every week as well. You get used to only taking home 1/2 of a paycheck, but it is rough as hell for the first 5 years or so. You’ll get used to your power getting shut off, paying rent late (because you’re paying it by yourself), gas getting shut off, filling your gas tank only 1/2 full because its all the money you have. I mean it, things as a single parent will get hard fast. But it will get better.
Eventually things will smooth out once you find a job that you decide to stick with. After a few years you’ll begin to earn more at this job and you’ll be able to pay the bills you have more consistently. The weight of everything you have to do for this child will lighten and it will become more fluid. I promise. Just keep grinding. Be sure that you always think of the best interest of your child at all times, and be there for them everyday. We heard that term used over and over. “BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.” It’s amazing when you take a second and really think about that. Remove yourself from the equation, and think about what is the best thing for your kid…and do that. Kinda clears up the muddy waters a bit doesn’t it?
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Journey 2 Master 